Take a Look at Yourself
Remember in the story of Sleeping Beauty how the wicked stepmother stood in front of the mirror every morning and night, asking Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is fairest of them all? And of course, the mirror always replied Snow White.
If you were to look in the mirror, who would you see standing in front of our honest selves and taking some daily time for self-examination?
God’s Word encourages us to do that:
Look closely at yourselves. Test yourselves to see if you are living in the faith. You know that Jesus Christ is in you—unless you fail the test.
~2 Corinthians 13:5 (NCV)
There are a couple of important truths with this verse. One is the “look closely at yourself” in context is Paul asking them to make sure their faith is based on nothing more than Christ. That’s the other truth that we can’t miss: “know that Jesus Christ is in you”!
As we look in the mirror we must see, recognize, and know that Christ is living in us. We do not see a husband, a father, a pastor (your profession), an athlete – we should see who we are in Christ. Please remember this verse:
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
~Galatians 2:20 (NIV)
Why is that important? Because we should take an honest look at how our personalities, temperaments, family dysfunction, past hurts, sin, and unforgiveness and how those things impacts who we see in the mirror. Be honest with yourself and know yourself. But it is also important to know how those things are changed because of who you are in Christ.
An older book that I would strongly encourage you to read is by Tim LaHaye, Spirit-Controlled Temperament. In it he says, “I’m sorry to have to admit that the majority of Christians do not see a complete transformation of their temperaments. The reason is abundantly clear: The do not regularly experience the power of the Spirit-filled life (see Ephesians 5:18-21). This change or modification of behavior Is not automatic: we must cooperate with the Spirit of God within us to experience that change. We shall see that the filling of the Holy Spirit is not only commanded by God for every Christian, but this filling results in the Holy Spirit so controlling our natures that we actually live the life of Christ.” (italics mine)
When we look, hopefully honestly look in the mirror at who we are, we see how in Christ we have become a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!). We should know that not only does our temperament impact how we live and treat others, but also our personality does as well.
I do believe we are seeing a personality trait that is affect more and more people is narcissistic-like behaviors. Health professionals agree that a lack of feeling loved is what leads to insecurities and even narcissistic attitudes. This is troubling because a person with this disorder, including Christians, must recognize this in themselves if it is going to be recognized and addressed. According to this article, www.changemyrelationship.com/christian-relationship-help-boundaries-with-a-narcissist/, there are signs we can see in ourselves we honestly take a look:
There have to be at least five of the following characteristics for someone to be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
- A grandiose sense of self-importance where one exaggerates achievements and abilities and expects to be recognized as superior to others.
- Fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
- A belief that one is special or unique and should only associate with special people.
- Requires excessive admiration.
- A sense of entitlement that involves favorable treatment or automatic compliance with expectations.
- Exploitation of others to achieve one’s own ends and an expectation to be given whatever is wanted or needed.
- Lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize others’ needs or feelings and views others’ needs and feelings as weakness.
- Envious of others and believes others are envious of oneself.
- Arrogant and haughty behaviors and attitudes.
I mention this because what I’ve seen and what is said by professionals is you cannot make narcissists change. Personality disorders are the most difficult psychological problems to treat because the person lacks insight into who they are and has no awareness of the need to change.
Because of that diagnosis it is extremely important to remember that God is in the business of bringing dead people back to life. In Christ, He can impact every area of our life. If you look in the mirror and see this personality or anything else that is not Christ-like in your life, then know through Christ you can change. Or if you are the spouse of someone who is not willing to take an honest look at themselves, then know through prayer and God’s presence we can have hope and peace even through trials and tribulation.
